Regrets...

I should have talked to you more. I should have asked you all the question which now, and for the rest of my life, plague me. I should have spoken up, but I was scared. Scared of the situation. Scared of the reality. You were always my rock, my safe space, my guardian. You calmed me in a way no one else ever has, ever could, ever will. You understood the things I couldn't speak, you saw through my act - time and again - you never wavered, never faltered, never gave up. Even though I gave you no reason, you were always there for me - the way a father should be. You were always what I needed, even when you weren't. Even when I needed silence, absence, nothing but to wallow, it was always you. Forever in your eyes, I lived. For you I live now, and for them, but your pride is all I seek, all I'll ever quest for for ever more. You may be gone but never forgotten, how could you be forgotten? Fuck that!